When people think about unexpected pregnancy, they often focus on what decision someone should make. Over the years, I learned that the most important questions are often not about the decision itself, but about the fears, pressures, relationships, and circumstances surrounding it.
What I Wish I Had Asked as a Family Physician
Sherie was 18 years old when she came to see me at the clinic one Friday morning. She had booked an appointment for a cold but quietly admitted she thought she might be pregnant.
Before I had asked many questions, her words came pouring out.
“I can’t go through another abortion… It was the worst decision I ever made. I felt like I had no other choice. I think about my child every day.”
Her sorrow was palpable. I had just met her, yet she entrusted me with one of the deepest regrets of her life. Later, I realized why. A poster on the wall of my examination room displayed information about our local pregnancy care centre. It quietly communicated that this was a place where conversations about unexpected pregnancy—and the emotions surrounding them—were welcome.
That encounter stayed with me.
For more than twenty years, I practised family medicine and cared for many women facing an unexpected pregnancy. Some felt overwhelmed, others uncertain, and many were carrying fears and pressures that weren’t immediately visible.
Looking back, I realize that I often focused on the pregnancy itself without fully appreciating everything surrounding it. Financial concerns, difficult relationships, family expectations, uncertainty about the future, or pressure from others could all influence how a woman viewed her situation and the options before her.
Medical training had prepared me to diagnose illness, explain options, and recommend treatment. But conversations involving fear, relationships, personal values, and life-changing decisions required something more. I needed to slow down, listen well, and ask better questions.
Those experiences eventually led me, during my time at Pregnancy Care Canada, to develop a practical resource for health-care professionals. My hope was to encourage thoughtful questions that could help uncover some of the circumstances and pressures surrounding an unexpected pregnancy and support women in making well-informed decisions.
