Three Questions to Ask Yourself Before Discussing Abortion
Building bridges begins with humility.
Few conversations generate as much emotion as abortion. For some, it is deeply personal. For others, it is primarily philosophical, political, or ethical. Regardless of where we stand, these conversations often become polarized, leaving people feeling unheard rather than understood.
Over the years, as a family physician and later through my work with Pregnancy Care Canada, I met people whose experiences continually reminded me that abortion is rarely just an issue to debate. It is often connected to fear, grief, relief, pressure, love, uncertainty, or loss. Those encounters taught me an important lesson: before we discuss abortion with others, it is worth asking a few questions of ourselves.
- How Has Abortion Touched Your Own Life?
Whether it is a friend, mother, sister, wife, daughter, colleague, or yourself, abortion has touched many lives. In Canada, approximately 100,000 abortions occur each year, and studies suggest that roughly one in four women will have had an abortion by the age of 45.
Each of us comes to this conversation with experiences that have shaped us. For some, abortion is associated with relief. For others, it is accompanied by sadness, regret, or grief. Many have never spoken about their experience at all.
Because every story is different, we should be careful not to assume we know how abortion has affected another person. Listening with humility creates space for people to share their story, if they choose.
- What Convictions Shape Your Perspective?
Conversations about abortion often become discussions about rights, justice, and legal protection. Beneath those conversations, however, lie deeper questions.
When does human life begin? What responsibilities do we have toward both a pregnant woman and her developing child? How should society protect the vulnerable while caring compassionately for those facing difficult circumstances?
People arrive at different conclusions because they begin with different assumptions and beliefs. I believe that every human life has inherent value from its very beginning. Others approach these questions from a different ethical framework.
Before meaningful dialogue can occur, we must recognize that most people are not trying to do what they believe is wrong. They are often seeking what they sincerely believe is right, even when we disagree with their conclusions.
Recognizing that does not require us to compromise our convictions. It simply reminds us that respectful dialogue begins by understanding why another person believes what they do.
- What Beliefs Shape the Way You See This Issue?
Every one of us views the world through a particular lens. Whether shaped by faith, family, education, culture, or personal experience, our worldview influences how we interpret difficult questions.
My own Christian faith shapes how I understand the value of every human life. It also reminds me that every person bears God’s image and deserves to be treated with dignity and compassion.
Living in a diverse society means we will not all arrive at the same conclusions. But it does invite us to ask an important question:
Can we welcome people with kindness, even when we disagree with them?
Respect does not require agreement. It requires recognizing the humanity of the person in front of us.
Building Bridges Instead of Winning Arguments
These questions are worth considering before entering any difficult conversation. When we fail to recognize our own experiences, convictions, and assumptions, we often become defensive rather than curious.
I’ve found that one simple question can change the tone of a conversation:
Is my goal to win an argument, or to build a bridge?
Building bridges is not about avoiding truth or compromising deeply held convictions. Rather, it is about speaking with humility, listening with respect, and remembering that every person we encounter has a story we may not yet understand.
When conversations become opportunities to love our neighbour rather than defeat an opponent, something changes. People feel heard. Trust grows. Dialogue becomes possible.
As followers of Christ, we are called to speak the truth in love. That means our words should reflect not only our convictions but also the character of the One we follow.
Love doesn’t lock horns.
Love opens doors.
Love makes room.
Love builds bridges.
Love invites.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)
