This article is adapted from my conversation with Ed Stetzer and Daniel Yang on the Stetzer Church Leaders Podcast. I’ve edited the content for clarity and readability while preserving the heart of our discussion. If you’d prefer to listen to the full interview, you’ll find the podcast at the end of this article.
What Women Who Have Had Abortions Need from the Church
Creating churches where truth, grace, and healing are all welcome.
During my years as a family physician and later as Executive Director of Pregnancy Care Canada, I met many women who carried a secret that very few people knew—including people in their own churches.
Many assumed they were the only one. Many wondered whether the church could ever become a safe place to tell their story.
Some had chosen abortion decades earlier. Some had never spoken about it. Some believed God had forgiven them, yet still wondered whether they truly belonged.
One question has stayed with me over the years:
What does a woman who has experienced abortion need from her church?
The answer, I believe, is remarkably simple.
She needs a church that reflects the heart of Jesus.
The Church Is Already Walking Beside Women Who Have Experienced Abortion
Sometimes churches speak about abortion as though it is something happening “out there.”
The reality is very different.
Research has shown that many women who have abortions have attended church, and many continue to do so afterward. Yet many also report feeling uncertain whether their church is a safe place to talk about their experience. Others wonder whether the message of forgiveness truly applies to them.
These aren’t strangers. They are our neighbours. Our friends. People in our Bible studies. Women sitting beside us in the pew each Sunday.
Perhaps they are us.
When we recognize this, it changes the way we speak.
Silence Doesn’t Feel Safe
One of the greatest challenges is not necessarily what churches say about abortion. It’s what they never say.
When abortion is never mentioned, many women quietly conclude that it must not be something that can be discussed.
Silence often communicates shame more powerfully than words.
I’ve become convinced that churches should talk about abortion in the same way they talk about other realities of living in a broken world—with honesty, biblical truth, compassion, and hope.
Not because abortion is the only issue people face. But because it is one of many places where people desperately need the healing grace of Christ.
Women Usually Don’t Need Another Reminder
Sometimes Christians worry that speaking with compassion somehow minimizes the seriousness of abortion. In my experience, the opposite is true.
The woman usually doesn’t need someone to remind her that abortion ended a life. She already knows. What she often wonders is something much deeper. Is grace still available for someone like me?
Can God forgive me?
Can I still belong?
Can I still serve?
The answer of the gospel is an unmistakable yes.
The cross of Christ is not limited by the depth of our regrets. His mercy reaches every one of us.
Truth and Compassion Belong Together
Some people assume that churches must choose between speaking truth and showing compassion.
Jesus never did.
He consistently held both together.
Throughout Scripture we see that every human life bears the image of God and possesses immeasurable value. We also see a Saviour who welcomed broken people, extended forgiveness, and invited them into new life.
Those truths belong together. If we speak about the value of life without also speaking about mercy, many people hear condemnation. If we speak only about grace without acknowledging God’s design for life, we fail to proclaim the whole gospel.
Healthy churches do both.
Healing Begins When Someone Feels Safe
Healing often begins with something remarkably simple.
Someone listens.
Someone asks.
Someone stays.
Many women have never had the opportunity to tell their story without fear of judgment.
Others have lived with grief that remained buried for years because they believed no one wanted to hear it.
When churches create safe spaces for honest conversations, healing becomes possible. Sometimes that happens through pastoral care. Sometimes through a trusted friend. Sometimes through a post-abortion Bible study or support group.
Sometimes through hearing another woman’s testimony and realizing,
“I’m not alone.”
The power of testimony cannot be underestimated.
When someone courageously shares how Christ met them in their deepest place of regret, it opens the door for others to seek that same healing.
The Church Can Walk Beside Families Before the Crisis
Supporting women after abortion is essential.
But churches also have an opportunity to care for women before difficult decisions are made. Unexpected pregnancies are often surrounded by fear. Fear about finances. Relationships. Housing. Education. The future.
Imagine the difference if every church became known as a place where young women and young men experiencing an unexpected pregnancy knew they would be welcomed, supported, and loved.
What if churches celebrated life while also surrounding parents with practical help?
What if they hosted baby showers, provided meals, helped with housing, connected families with local pregnancy care centres, and reminded parents they were not alone?
Those practical expressions of love often speak as powerfully as any sermon.
A Community of Hope
One of the greatest privileges of my years with Pregnancy Care Canada was watching local churches partner with pregnancy care centres. Together they offered something neither could provide alone.
Pregnancy care centres often became the first place where someone found hope. The local church became the place where they found lasting community.
I’ve seen women discover forgiveness after carrying shame for decades. I’ve seen families rally around young mothers who thought they had no future. I’ve seen churches become places where people encountered not only truth, but also grace.
Those moments remind me that the gospel is never merely about what we are saved from. It is about what we are invited into. A new life. A new family. A new future.
Looking Back
When I think about what women who have experienced abortion need most from the church, my answer has become surprisingly simple.
Perhaps what they need is what every one of us needs. To know the truth. To experience grace. To be welcomed into authentic community. To discover that no failure is greater than the mercy of God.
The church is called to proclaim the value of every human life. It is also called to proclaim something equally beautiful: That through Jesus Christ, forgiveness is real. Healing is possible. Hope remains.
The church cannot change the past. But through the grace of Christ, it can become a place where healing begins.
May our churches become places where no one has to wonder whether grace is still available. Because in Jesus Christ, the answer has always been yes.
“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” — Romans 8:1
Listen to the Podcast
This article is adapted from my conversation with Ed Stetzer and Daniel Yang on the Stetzer Church Leaders Podcast. If you’d like to hear the full interview, you can listen here.
Related Reflections
When the Church Becomes a Place of Healing
How can churches become places where truth, grace, and healing are experienced by those carrying hidden burdens?
Three Questions Before an Abortion Conversations
Respectful conversations begin with humility, compassion, and a willingness to listen well.
Leading With Compassion in a Divided World
Why conviction and compassion belong together when discussing difficult issues.
